Mashed, Roasted, Chipped, Sauteed, Baked, Boiled, Fried, Grilled, and, er, Saladified...

I think I love potatoes more than I love chocolate. It matters not in which format they have been prepared, although for the record, mashed, roasted and baked are my favourite. We don't eat many potatoes though, not really. Maybe once a fortnight? Sometimes more, sometimes less. When I need a potato fix though, it is all consuming and difficult to satiate.

Last week, I really fancied some mash. I would have eaten it on its own, only Mike doesn't think that is dinner so I roasted some spicy, limey chicken thighs and made creamy onion mash and peas. Comfort food with some spice marinade thrown in for these modern times. It was delightful, every forkful was perfection and seemed to satisfy some deep hidden me. As always happens, we have now had some form of potato every night since. It will pass and we will go back to normal soon. Just one more night and whatever has been awoken will be restful once more.

So, the point. As I was peeling potatoes for the mash, I read the label on the bag. They were called Yukon Gold, and the labeller (at no point are they named - is it Yukon, or is that the variety, who can say? Well, me actually, as I googled it, Yukon is the variety) boldly declares they fall into the "5 a day for better health" camp. I thought that fact that a potato was not included in the 5 a day fruit and vegetable list had been known since around the time of the 'you can't get AIDS from a toilet seat public information campaign'* but perhaps not. I read on.

"Yukon Potatoes have a sweet buttery taste that compliments meats, poultry, or seafood. Preparation can be quick and easy by simply boiling, dicing, and adding olive oil and your favorite seasonings.
With their natural buttery taste they make a terrific mashed potato. Try them French Fried with skins on - your kids will love 'em. You can find various recipes on the internet".

I know what you're thinking - nice use of the oxford comma, so why did you go and spoil it all with the shortened 'them'?

Was this written by, or for, someone with a chronically short attention span? Please don't insult me, potato label, by lying about your health benefits and not even telling me how much vitamin C, fibre and complex carbohydrate, and possibly some other things you contain, and then coyly dismissing your many and varied uses by paying lip service to some chips and a bit of mash and some weird oily boiled little number, and then really putting the boot in by shooing me away to the deep dark Internet, of all places, to research recipes on my own, without any direction at all. After 3 months here, I have now grown use to more information about the stuff I purchase than I can shake a stick at, and frankly I feel weak with the lack of knowledge.

I have said my piece now and that is all.


* the most powerful campaign of my childhood, along with Charley says don't talk to strangers. As an aside, although I am aware that there is not much point to move aside from, while I was researching this blog snippet, (yes reader, for your delectation, I do research this stuff.. In fact only yesterday I resisted the urge to boldly state that Walt Disney was a fascist as some evidence claimed he was a well known fascist sympathiser and some, said it was all poppycock, plus Mike told me that if I got sued, he would promptly divorce me so that they couldn't get any of his money) I found an interesting article on toilet seat hovering, which talks about US public toilets, which I agree are bewildering and sometimes you have to be quick as the high tech-ness of it all means as well as flushing for you and dispensing soap and paper towels touchlessly, they practically extract your bodily fluids for you as well. Too crude? Apparently the British are crude, as well as being "so funny. You are all so funny". I have digressed so very badly now and possibly lost you all in the process. It's a short story, but in my hands, we would be here all night.