And then, they gave out free pizza!?!

Last night, we went to an ice hockey game. For those of you who don't know me, I don't really do sport. I don't mind playing the occasional game of strictly non-team based activities in a safe and loving environment, but watching other people sweat just doesn't do it for me (with caveats to include snooker, athletics, and the London Marathon the morning after the night before). Until now that is. I have discovered a whole world previously unexplored.

The tickets were a Christmas present (thanks Dan!) and the match was the San Jose Sharks versus Tampa Bay Lightening. The result was 7-1 to the Sharks but never mind about that...

We had to get the train to San Jose where we met Dan with an hour to spare before the game started. So, like any other self respecting sports fans (I imagine,) we grabbed a beer and a San Jose special hotdog which turned out to be as big as my face (and my face isn't small) and contain chilli, onions, cheese and sour cream. Then we had to negotiate our way to our seats with full hands and steep steps. Trouble was asked for, and for once, didn't deliver. Hooray. It was clear that we were not ice hockey fans (and not just because everyone else was dressed from head to toe in Sharks gear) as we were unable to walk at a sensible pace laden with lard as well as finding our seats. Luckily a lovely steward took pity on us and braved my armpit without even flinching to retrieve the tickets, and thus seat numbers, in order to direct us.

After hotdogs had been consumed but not spilt (you can tell I am 30 now, oh yes, it has finally happened, I am a grown up), and we had got up several times to let people into their seats, the hours between 7.30 pm and 10pm were filled with different theme tunes, violence, ad breaks, prize winners, chants, the irritating but fascinating commentary of a group behind who seemed unable to keep their thoughts inside their heads, and were obsessed with the referees 'sack', oh and some sport.

At no point did I have any idea what was happening. I felt like Freud the first time that he went to a Catholic Church with his devout nurse*, only to watch people sitting down and standing up in the right places, and speaking in unity. Have I made a comparison with sport and religion there? How did that happen?

We clapped along and stood up when everyone else did but refrained from chanting as I for one had no clue what they were saying. Dan tried to give a stranger a hi five when the first goal was scored but half-missed embarrassingly, but who cared? No one.

Then, about three quarters of the way through and in one of the endless stoppages for some reason we could never fathom, one of the sponsors gave out free pizzas! Three boxes to three lucky people.

An audience member caught a puck and looked like his wife had just given birth to their first child after five fruitless years of trying for a baby.

The replays, which now had commentary, bore little resemblance to what we had just watched and helped only very dimly with my understanding of the game.

The only time there was absolute silence was when the national anthem was sung at the beginning of the proceedings and although the words didn't seem to be very well known for the beginning verse, 'the land of the free' bit was belted out. I felt like I was in a film, or an episode of the Simpson's at the very least.

A 'kiss cam' was employed which homed in on couples in the audience and stayed on them until they kissed which was frankly just weird, but the crowd went wild.

That is the very best that I can do to describe the situation and having read it back, I don't think it even comes close. It was madness itself, surprisingly infectious, fascinating, awe inspiring and constantly surprising. I don't think I will ever go again. I had an absolute ball.


*I did a sociology degree, it would amaze you to know what is in my brain but I do remember reading that somewhere. For all you literals, I don't really know what Freud felt so I am imagining. Anyway, stop reading this and get back to the ice hockey. I'm going to talk about pizza in a minute. Exciting!