Our monthly bread

Today is pay day (not mine sadly as I am still living vicariously [I doubt this word has been used in the correct context, but I am leaving it in]) so I thought we deserved a treat. In fact, I got two - bread and the stuff which will make the Wii work which I have now ordered. It is a good day. Sadly, I have used up most of the money in one morning, but hey ho, that's the way it goes sometimes when you have strange priorities.

Yesterday or maybe the day before, they largely roll into one (this is leading somewhere fret not) I went to Safeway. It is our nearest shop and I have learnt the tricks of how to shop there cheaply. We have changed our diet accordingly. A large bunch of coriander costs 69c (about 35p), a mango is 75p, avocados are pennies, but apples are a no no, and tomatoes have to be used cunningly - so Thai and Mexican it is. I am experimenting with recipes too which I am really enjoying but it has led to some very strange meals. We made spring rolls with filo pastry (I almost didn't find this in the shop - it is spelt Phyllo here) which we baked in the oven. The filling was spot on; the outside went from crispy to soggy in an instant, and we had made 8. We still have 4 left and I force us to eat one each week to get rid of them.

I digress - Safeway, yesterday. I was followed around the shop by a man with no hand. Instead he had a hook. What was worse was that he looked mean, and he was angry. Safeway attracts a wide range of society, and many of the more interesting ones like to shop when I do. At first we had to inspect every inch of the shop to see what they had and what was cheapest. I could probably sit a written exam now, particularly if they had a section on items they don't stock. I still get a little excitement from the shop; mainly from hilariously named products (Big Ass Beer anyone?). It's staff and customers fail to excite me now, even the ones who don't recognise a swede, or have vicious looking hooks.

I knew it was time for a change. With money in my pocket, suncream on my exposed flesh, as few clothes on my back as would be decent (yes, its hot here, summer has started now and I find my wardrobe wholly unprepared for this), I set off. Whole Foods was my destination, 0.88 miles away, or a 1.76 mile round trip. I got the shuttle to the library which about half way there and walked the rest [for shuttle spotters, the driver was Addya, a petite* and attractive woman with a sultry Spanish accent, like Marcus' girlfriend from Eldorado.**]

Whole Foods is a strange shop and I have a very limited understanding of how it all works. I have been there before and left bewildered and poorer. This time it wasn't going to beat me, and I needed items which Safeway will just never supply, like decent bread and tapioca starch - it's probably best not to ask about that one, and I am wittering as it is, so deviating from my point would be even worse now.

They have a bulk buy section where I eventually worked out, you scoop out what you want in a bag and take one of their labels and write the code on it and then tie it around the bag. The pen was provided but I do not jest when I tell you it took me ten minutes to find it, and meanwhile a homeless man stole something and exited through the alarmed door I was standing next to and it all got a bit fraught.

Whole Foods have many core values which if you find yourself at a loose end can be read here. I would like to draw your attention to the policy of making "store environments that are inviting and fun." I'm sure that every other shopper was having the time of their lives, but I was merely getting some provisions and trying not to scream out loud at some of their prices. In their defence, the staff are always wonderful. I just don't understand what is going on. At the checkout, I was asked if I wanted to have the 5c for using my own bag deducted from my bill or given to charity. I was prepared for this question after a lengthy explanation the last time I was there (I have translated the words for you rather than put verbatim what they actually ask) and asked to donate my 2 and a half pence. To honour my wondrous charity, I was given a wooden disc with the name and address of the store on one side, and 'Nickels for Non Profits' on the other. I really have no idea why. I mean, it's lovely and I am very grateful, but there is no need for that much praise for 5 cents.

I took my Acme Bread ciabatta (I don't think they sell dynamite to blow up Road Runner but I will keep looking), my oat bran and dried apricots and fled. Tesco, all is forgiven, except buy one get one free on fireworks that time, which was just plain wrong.


* She sat closer to the steering wheel than I do, and that is quite close
** I realise that no one will understand this reference, but I was an Eldorado fan and I am not ashamed