Holly's Holiday Highlights

I thought I would do some brief reviews of the places I took Holly on her recent holiday, which I haven't already mentioned previously. These are my opinions though - it was just 'clever' alliteration to use that extra H.

Note my ambitious use of the word brief. Please place your bets now whether I can do it, without scrolling down the page to see that so blatantly haven't.

Alcatraz - just amazing and well worth the money. I am surprised but happy to report that it was thoroughly interesting, well organised, minimally commercialised and with beautiful scenery; practically flawless. We took an evening tour which meant that you got extra guided tours which delved further into stories of the more notorious criminals, and saw the city lit up from over the water, and if you time it right, which we didn't (but did on another day) you can see the sun set over the Golden Gate Bridge. I wanted to stay later but my feet had the final say.

Mama's on Washington Square - a American breakfast diner which we got up at 6am on a Sunday morning to go to. It didn't disappoint and thanks to the very early start, we were lucky enough to get the last seat in the first wave so didn't queue for too long. The food was amazing and the portions typically huge. I had a French toast sampler place with all sorts of fruit, Mike had Eggs Florentine, Holly had eggs and bacon, US style - and as it was a special treat, we got a side plate of pancakes to share. We struggled to move after it all. The prices were reasonable, the service was spot on, very friendly but not intrusive and despite the growing queue outside, they didn't hurry you along and refilled teas and coffees the minute your cup was running low.

I am not good in the morning and grumbled to Mike (who is frankly even worse in the morning) that this would have to be a spiritual experience, to get up at 6am just for food. There was no other worldly visitations, no epiphany or enlightenment, no bleeding statues and no messages in the tea leaves (it was a tea bag anyway), but I would get up and I will go again. I just have to do some digesting first.

SFMOMA (San Francisco Museum of Modern Art) - perhaps it is because previously I have been spoilt for choice for excellent free art galleries, but I really couldn't believe that they seriously expect people to pay for this. It opens at a very lazy 11am, so we had to queue for a few minutes before the ticket booth opened. After some nasty queue action and general pre-ticket ill feeling (caused entirely by an overzealous jobsworth employee who everyone wanted to stab in the eye, or maybe that was just me) we got into the gallery. If I wasn't being brief I would tell you all about the pretension of the place, the intellectual inaccessibility (no information signs anywhere or descriptions of artefacts), and the two tier system emerging from the fact that the entrance fee entitled you building entrance and then you were expected to pay extra to gain any insight into the works on show. As I am being brief though, I will simply state that the place sucked. I would not recommend it to anyone, unless you were desperate for an art fix. They had some amazing and very famous pieces, which they had just plonked down and labelled if they felt like it.

The best part of the experience was meeting an extremely charming woman who asked Holly to take her picture, telling her exactly where to stand for the best light and precisely what she wished to be included in the photo, and then inviting me into the shot as 'she was all on her own' only to have me (at least triple her size) blot out anything she could have wanted in it. Still, I put on my best smile and I hope I make the final cut into her post holiday slide show.

Anchor Steam Brewery Tour - a free tour of the local beer factory which is so popular they advise booking a month in advance, however it doesn't seem to be in any guide book or recommended on any visitor website. This is an almost locals only treat. I booked about 3 weeks in advance and could only get a place on the 11am tour. It seemed a little early for beer, even free beer, but I had recently found out that my work permit has been granted so it seemed an apt celebration of the end of 'era'. It is only open on week days so the opportunity may not present itself again for a while.

Unlike the chocolate tour which seemed to pitch its level to a 7 year old with below average intelligence, it was non patronising, informative and interesting. We had an insufferable know-it-all on the tour who made everyone (me) want to stab him in the eye (only twice in the one week is good) but the guide handled him well and his female friend swooned around him so much that he was distracted by his own manliness and soon stopped asking irrelevant questions. The people there (only 25 at a time) all seemed to be either local or from other US states and visiting friends in the city, and when I asked a question, all the heads in the room turned to look and point at the outsider with a funny voice. Or maybe they found my voice so attractive that they wanted to see if the face matched. Maybe not.

We got to sample 5 of their beers a half pint at a time, a summer beer (OK), the trademark steam beer (quite nice), something else (hic), a porter (amazing and so so much nicer and smoother than Guinness which is the closest thing to it that I have tasted) and a sweet after dinner beer like a dessert wine, which I was surprised to find that I really liked. The tour guide turned bar man and best friend now to many, asked if anyone wanted some more of the one you liked the best. I plugged for the porter, so for people who had drank a full measure of all of the beers on offer, they had drunk 3 pints for free and it wasn't even 1pm. I had one pint of porter, one half of summer beer, and quarter pints of everything else - 2 and a quarter pints of beer. Just amazing. There was seemingly nothing in it for them - they had no beer to sell but it must be worth it for them. I plan to buy myself some Porter and some sweet Old Foghorn before the month is out and I would urge anyone to take the tour. In short, the power of word of mouth advertising executed extraordinarily well.

Lombard Street - renowned for being the crookedest street in the city. For a start, this is a lie. The real crookedest street is in Potrero Hill, which is a suburb south of the city. I had been before and was distinctly unimpressed, and this time Holly was too. It is a street which they have put curves in the road to make it less steep, and then planted flowers. People like to drive down it. People like to take pictures of it. I pity the people who live on it, but not too much as their houses are gorgeous.

Sausalito - described by the tourist website as "a charming waterfront community that lies across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco. Because of its Mediterranean flair and breathtaking views, it is often compared to the French Riviera" perhaps by people who have never been to France, but have seen Bergerac and got confused. The ferry across was absolutely lovely and provided wonderful views of the bridges and city, and on the way back we even got to see the sunset over the bridge, and a real close up of Alcatraz. It was a much cheaper alternative to the many tourist cruises on offer and you got to stop off for an ice cream.

A nice place for something different and I can see why it appeals to people, but I found it was very twee, full of art galleries but not much else, and after an hour you have exhausted everything there, and most of that time is spent picking your ice cream flavour. We were determined to give it the benefit of the doubt though and set off to see everything that the map (from the most beautiful, oldest, wrinkliest, cutest, smiliest woman in a tourist booth I had ever seen in my life^) said that it had to offer. We trekked across the town away from the main drag to the place the map called 'Beach'. When we got there, we understood why no one had taken the trouble to name it. In fact, the use of the word beach was laughable. I used to have a bigger sand pit when I was a child. We sat on the bench provided for the masses of visitors they must get and watched an old woman play with a dog, until we had had our fill, and headed back for the excitement of the main town where a man had put a wig on his dog and sang terrible songs for money.


^ apart from that time I did a coach tour of cute and happy old woman in tourist booths.